Small Steps & Doing The Work

 

A few years ago, my world was shrinking. I was overwhelmed with anxiety and depression, and I often had negative thoughts that made me utterly miserable. To cope with my unhappiness, I started oversleeping and engaging in other harmful behaviors as a way to escape.

Occasionally I would hear a little voice inside me which felt optimistic. I couldn’t hear what it was saying but it made me feel good. That voice was quickly shut down by my other parts who had no time for optimism - “life is hard stop selling dreams” they would say. The little voice would disappear until it could find space to visit again.

There was also the online trend of self-healing which was taking off. I began to see more people talking about their feelings and mental health in a way that resonated with me. The more I read, the more inspired I felt, and it was as if a light was being switched on inside me.

So, I started “doing the work.” This phrase is often used in self-healing, meaning facing parts of ourselves that we tend to avoid. Working through these parts is painful, hard, and exhausting. Instead of running away from unpleasant feelings, we use mind tools to acknowledge, explore and heal them.

I started doing the work and struggled and gave up many times. I had no idea what it felt like to be mentally healthy, was it even real? I had to trust it was the right thing to do and follow my instincts into finding the resources I needed to make me feel better.

The one phrase that has always been there for me on this journey is “small steps”. When learning something new, you never start at the end - “Wow, she’s playing drums in a world-famous rock band, and she just learned to play last week,” or “Congratulations on finishing the marathon - it’s amazing you only started running two months ago.”

I’m thankful for small steps. By adding helpful habits, like doing some neck and shoulder stretches after using the toilet, and removing unhelpful ones, such as smaller portion sizes at dinner (I'm still learning how to stop eating when I’m full). These small steps have been instrumental in my journey, allowing me to build habits that contribute to me better than I ever have.

I’m proud of what I've achieved. There is still plenty of work for me to do, like everyone I’m a work in progress. I'm excited to share what has been helpful for me and discover what else is out there for me to learn.